You know what I found out recently? If you put an ultrasound wand against my lower abdomen, you'll see an itty bitty flickering heartbeat.

shotgun wedding ;)

Not even a bride can get a cab in this city

Proving the theory wrong

I just eloped, like, 4 days ago.

Hoo Boy have I got a sinus infection. I sneezed into my hands and they were covered with bloody mucus. My boyfriend said, "Neat." He's not as wordy as I am--I'm thinking it was cathartic and disgusting and perversely enjoyable.

But Rob nailed it.

It was just neat.

The cat may well knock over my lucky bamboo. She is on a mission to destroy my sunporch, the little alcove I have made for myself for morning coffee and magazines. Bad kitty.
I have an easel and unopened tubes of oil paint and empty pots. Seed packets. It is a room of possibility and morning light.

I wore my hair in pipi longstocking braids yesterday & today. Pretty cute, but I like to do drastic things to my hair with no notice. So I am thinking about chopping it all off in a spikey pixie cut, which is my favorite cut ever. I dyed it manic panic pink "flamingo" last year but it washed out too quickly. I want it to be permanent. Any advice would be great. I've been thinking of having it done at a salon but I'm a DIY kind of girl.

xxx

So I got an enigmatic love letter today:


maybe you're on the phone with Mr. Right... or Ms. Right...
make no nevermind to myself.

but, you know, I like the photo in Rome.
like the sense of devil-may-care.
like something about the total presentation.

maybe you say no... so.. well... say no and don't hide.
no pride here... but with no response... well... I don't know.

you travel... this is of interest.... you have seen a southern sky? but do you know the conselations? calico is maybe strong... colour from the far edges of your experience?... are you really up to that moniker? maybe, maybe you want to say "piss off".... if you are what you claim then the loss is mine.

but you know.
maybe practicality and reality aren't quite right for right now.
no hurt - best wishes you know.
and if you are not so sold on your path, then, well...
alas...

Vicodin tonight. It helped for a while. I went out around town and bought stuff. First time I've taken the car anywhere in days. Returned a leaking gallon of milk. The three pills still in the bottle guarantee three more good days; or at least, good hours.

She made Paul a soft egg on toast. He fussed with it for a while with his fork; finally she let him lie down on her bed while she called the doctor. No school today. She didn't notice A. who came in and pulled herself up onto Paul's chair. She was a big girl now, and she could feed herself. She was proud, and the egg was good.

They both survived the dyptheria, but A., since she was younger, was hit the hardest. It pulled the corners of her mouth down and she could not smile. She did not see her brothers and sisters for weeks, except when her father held her up in the window for them to see from the yard outside. Her mother boiled everything; every spoon, her blankets, even her doll.

She was my great-aunt. She has been dead for twenty years. Brain cancer. We have the same slight figure, similar wit. Those who knew her call our resemblance uncanny. I will name my daughter after her.

My migraine is almost gone. A few coffee beans, some Darvocet, a coca-cola. The muscles in the back of my neck are dense, as always. Like bone. A car crash can do that to you, change your body into a different one. I haven't figured out all the rules yet. This new body resists change, remembers pain, craves sleep.

I didn't want any damn cookies anyway.

he's eating all the fucking cookies again.